Today is International Women’s Day a day to honor and celebrate women worldwide and their contributions throughout history to shape the world we know and the society we live in. As female re-enactors we represent the memories of many of these women who made sacrifices and dedicated their lives during times of hardship to support their country and society. Because of this I felt it was time for me to write a post about a topic that nearly every woman in re-enacting has encountered at least once in their life. My original draft for this post was vastly different and touched on a post-event review of FIG 2017 but after reflecting on the meaning behind today I changed my mind and wanted this post to focus on one thing and not be muddled by other information.
Many of my readers may know me outside of just this blog but when I’m not re-enacting I have a B.S. in Industrial Engineering and I am currently a Quality & Operations Manager for a multi-million dollar sign manufacturing company. I am extremely proud of my career and everything I have achieved professionally. I am fortunate enough to work for a Woman-Owned Business and work alongside a Senior Management team that is primarily women but working in a corporate environment and a technical field I also am accustomed to working in a male dominated industry and working twice as hard to earn the respect of male colleagues or consistently getting overlooked at industry events because I’m a woman. Truthfully this often isn’t any different in the re-enacting hobby. Just like there is a stereotyped perception in my career about why would a woman want to be an engineer and yet it’s unheard of that she could be “on the same level” as male engineers the same perception exists among many male re-enactors in the hobby.
Why would any normal woman spend thousands of dollars a year on uniforms and equipment for a hobby that is made up of 80% men? Simply put because I want to, because I love history and I love the enjoyment I get when I go out to an event and recreate that part of history if even for a day. It’s not any different than the reasons that any man in the hobby has for doing re-enacting and yet every event I get asked one specific question.
What unit is your boyfriend in?
This repeated question and stereotyped opinion that a woman wouldn’t ever join this hobby unless they were dating or married to a man who is a member of a specific unit has become so prevalent that myself and several of my friends have made memes, jokes, and even place bets on occasion at event on how many times I’ll get asked the question. This is not to say it is a negative thing if you are a woman who has a significant other in the hobby. Women don’t go up to men in the hobby when they first meet and ask them the question “what unit is your girlfriend in,” so why is it different when men meet women in the hobby? Why is it outside of the norm for a woman to pursue this hobby on her own regardless of the truth if she has a significant other that does it as well or not?
The story of “What unit is your boyfriend in” for me began at Collings Foundation in 2016. I was invited to participate in the event as a Luftnachrichten Helferin. On Saturday afternoon of the event I was sitting in camp working on a few minor sewing projects when a few men from another unit came over to introduce themselves to me. Since I was the only woman in a camp of 40+ men and a new face to New England events I wasn’t surprised they were slightly curious to meet the new person. After basic introductions one of them asked the specific question, “So what unit is your boyfriend in?” Initially I was taken aback that he could be so blunt and then responded “none of them.” This wasn’t the answer they were expecting and they asked what I meant by that trying to find a better explanation. I continued to explain to them I’m not dating anyone in any unit. At this point in the conversation they were completely confused and asked why I was here then. My final response was because I enjoyed it; I love the history, and love attending re-enacting events where I can contribute to keeping this aspect of history alive. The conversation hit an awkward pause because these men through the expressions on their face and body language conveyed a message of confusion, they weren’t sure how to talk to a woman like me or if they should now proceed to flirt with me because surely what I said wasn’t true and I must truly be there to find a boyfriend or try to have an engaging conversation. There wasn’t really anything more they were able to come up with to talk to me about and it was after they departed the impact of their initial question really dawned on me and how deep rooted stereotypes are in this hobby still exist and the uphill battle each of us women face in breaking through that barrier as re-enactors.
So many other women in the hobby I have met have encountered a similar situation at least once in their life. Each of us will always face a battle to be taken seriously despite the fact we spend hours upon hours researching and thousands of dollars on our uniforms and equipment. A great number of women in the hobby aren’t there to pose and look pretty for pictures. It’s not easy dealing with this perception and some days you’ll feel incredibly rewarded but other days you might feel incredibly beat down. And unfortunately no matter how hard you try to change peoples opinions some people won't ever change their mindsets.
The most important thing is to never forget why you do this hobby, what it is you love about the hobby, or what aspect of the history you are passionate about. I’ve been through a lot of rough patches in both my career and my various re-enacting time periods and time after time the thing that gets me through it is reminding myself about what gives me personal gratification and I what find rewarding. Keeping your focus on this will help you overcome the repeated questions of “What unit is your boyfriend in?”
Understand you’re not alone either. There are plenty of groups, units, and individuals that will respect and support you for who you are as a re-enactor. You may not find one right off the bat but once you do find that group, unit, or friends that respect and support you, you’ll find that you will be afforded the opportunity to flourish even more than ever before. I’ve been fortunate enough to find some pretty amazing friends over the years that support me 110% and in turn I give my all to support them as well so we all continue to succeed. They’ve been there when I’ve been incredibly angry in frustration, been there when I am so upset I’m crying, and been there when I’ve been over the moon happy too. I know they’ll always be there to support me no matter what. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't be half the re-enactor I am today. Additionally there are so many significant others of my friends who support and love them for their passion for the hobby and what they strive to achieve.
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| Find those people at events that'll keep you smiling and laughing always! |
I want to wrap up this post before it gets too lengthy. Although this post talked about a more serious topic or situation, try not to take this hobby too seriously or personally. Remember to keep a good sense of humor about this crazy thing we call re-enacting. It is a hobby after all. At the end of the day we go to events as an escape from our daily lives and as a way for us to relax and enjoy ourselves from the monotony of our regular lives and jobs. This is exactly why I often post on social media joking about the number of times at an event I get asked the proverbial question, “what unit is your boyfriend in, “ and have even created a hashtag for those stories. Those that know me know I take my impression seriously but always know how to joke around and relax. The hashtag and the memes are ways that I can remind myself to laugh and have fun because as I said this is just a hobby. We all need to remember that and accept its okay to laugh at ourselves because ultimately you know who you are as a re-enactor and what your worth is. Don't let the opinions and preconceived notions of other hold you back from going after what you want ever.
On a final more heartfelt note, I want to express my gratitude and thanks to those that have always supported me and my crazy drive to be the best re-enactor I could be and never have passed judgement that I couldn’t achieve my goals in the hobby because I am not a man. So specifically Jess, Sean, Kyle, Jamie, Joe, Rosey, Brian, and Brandon… you each know what you’ve done for me over the years and how much it means to me. Thank You!
Great post, Sarah! Encouraging to those of us who enjoy reenacting and want to be there because of the enjoyment and passion of the hobby. Well done!
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